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Adolescent Sexuality: Talk the Talk Before They Walk the Walk

During the teen years, puberty’s hormonal and physical changes usually mean people start noticing increased sexual feelings. As a result, it’s common to wonder and sometimes worry about new sexual feelings.

Sexuality is a part of who the child is and who they will become. Sexuality develops and changes throughout the child’s life. Feeling comfortable with their sexual identity and sexuality is essential to the child’s healthy development.

As children become teenagers, not only does their sexual orientation become apparent, their friends will too.  During the adolescent years, people often find themselves having sexual thoughts and attractions. For some, these feelings and ideas can be intense and seem confusing.

Being attracted to someone of the same sex does not necessarily mean that a person is lesbian or gay, just as being interested in someone of the opposite sex doesn’t mean a person is straight. It is usual for teens to be attracted to or have sexual thoughts about people of the same sex and the opposite sex. It is one way of figuring through emerging sexual feelings.

Few people might go beyond just thinking about it and experiment with sexual experiences with people of their sex or the opposite sex. These experiences, by themselves, do not necessarily mean that a person is straight or gay.

Children will learn about sexuality at school, talk about it with friends, and get information online and through social media. But young people do trust the information they get from their parents. If parents talk about sex and sexuality with their children, it will help them sort through the many messages they get about sexuality from other sources. It can also help their child make positive, safe, and informed choices, now and in the future.

There is no perfect time to start talking about sexuality, but conversations from a young age can help the child understand that sex and sexuality are a normal, healthy part of life. In addition, early discussions can help make later ones easier.

Openly addressing the all-too-human questions of sexual desire, sexual development, and the nature of the adolescent’s developing sexual identity are critical. Sharing factual information and giving good moral guidance to your teenager is vitally important in helping your teen understand herself or himself. Moreover, it can help your child avoid devastating and possibly life-threatening errors in judgment.

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